Toejam and the Peanut

An Update on Life

Well, the last few months have been beyond crazy and there seems to be no let up in sight.

First and foremost, the Wall family is back in town, but laying low. I have been secretly driving by their house while they were in Stanford and praying for Erin. Today, I noticed cars home, and lights in the house. I believe that the Lord has taken care of them. I don't want to push if they are wanting to lay low, but want to help. This is always a hard place to be. Sitting and waiting. But I believe that they are doing well, and she is healing.

October is almost over, praise the Lord. This has been the hardest, most difficult month of my life. Collectively, I do not think that I have spent more than 2 hours at once with my family. It is friday afternoon, and I am filling out my work journal for the last week of October. According to my journal, I have taken 3 days off this month, and averaged 11 hours per day monday through friday. Maybe this is why I am so tired. I had to put an end to somebody's career this month. Telling somebody that you are choosing to terminate their employment is not an easy task. It is in no way like a reality tv show. From the moment that you make the decision till the moment you tell them you will not sleep. Afterwards, your brain will not stop. Not at all. It has been weeks, and I think about this every day.

On a lighter note there is new Leif in the lab. I hired an entry level lab technician, and he started this week. His name is Leif, which explains my silly joke. A very likable person, who is catching on very quickly. I am worried that with the pace that the lab is running I won't have the time that I need to spend with him training.

I have been spending a substantial amount of time at the St Joseph's Hospital project for concrete pours and rebar placement. This project has reached a point that I believe is nothing less than hostile. I love my job, I love what I do and the people that I am working with, but I am beginning to believe that this project is sucking the life out of me. There is never an easy answer, and some days you feel like you have been backed into a corner and need to fight your way out. I have learned to be on the defensive at all times when I am there. Watch what I say, who I say it to, and what I put in my reports. This project is more than difficult. Rebar upon rebar upon rebar. More rebar than I have ever seen in one place. I feel for the steel worker's foreman because the challenge is nothing less than daunting, and he receives no easy breaks. The most difficult part for me is the fact that I have identified what I call "core clients" for the lab, and the amount of resources that I am allocating to this project is adversely effecting these core clients.

There are beacons of light that do shine at this project. The Superintendent is a really fun guy who has been going to Centerpointe, so I get to see him on sundays too. Everybody is working long hours and I feel bad for stealing time from their families.

This weekend I am not coming into work. I am planning on doing nothing and enjoying my family. I miss them, even though I see the boys when they go to bed, and see my wife for an hour or two in the evening, I still miss them. Here's hoping for rain, rain like crazy that will stop or slow some of the construction activities in Humboldt and let me breathe. It's 4:45 friday and I am off the clock. I have spent the last half hour reading Rachel's blog, laughing at the boys, and trying to decompress before I go home.


Final thoughts... The Lord gives us challenges with the idea that we will overcome if we rely on Him. He's not going to let us walk us into anything that He cannot steer us out of. All we need to do is keep our eyes firmly focused on His will and His glory and we'll make it through the bad stuff and into His marvelous light.

Quickly I would like to throw this out there. We are commanded by the Lord to pray for those who are sick, and I am sending out the request to all of my friends and family. Our friends the Wall family are headed to Stanford to have surgery this wednesday. A tumor was found in Erin's(mom's) head. As I said, the surgery is scheduled for this wednesday. Please pray for this family, Rob, Erin, Steve, and Mackenzie. The Lord has previously healed her from the same thing years ago, and we have faith that He can and will heal again. Fast, Pray, lift them up and make your requests known to our merciful and great Savior:

Pray that:

They draw near to their Savior, know and trust in His salvation.
The Doctor remove everything.
Rob and Erin have strength, find strength in Him to guide them.
Erin has a speedy recovery.
Rob and the kids make it okay.
Jesus reveals Himself to them while they're away.
The Doctor remove everything.
Erin fully recovers.

I trust in the Lord's plan. God is soverign, and always in control of our lives. When I was in the ER with Jack, I did not see that, and the Walls right now may not be able to see that.

Father I thank you for the Wall family and the joy that they have been in our lives. As they prepare for this journey, I ask that Your peace be over their family. Guide their hearts. Give Rob the peace and comfort to be a father to his children, and a comfort to his bride. Clear Erin's mind of doubt and fear, and most of all father HEAL. We know that You are able and desire that Your children not suffer. You have healer her body before, and I ask that Father you heal again. Show Your glory in this moment. Let them see that You are God alone, able to do all things for the Glory of Your Name!

Pictures of the Rug Rats

Although there is the occasional blond headed Downey, I'm still concidering these to be family pictures. I've been able to go camping twice with Max this summer, and once with mommy and Jack. That's right, Rachel was camping. It was very fun, I'm not sure why I enjoy camping so much. You don't really do much when you're out. Brandon mentioned that if you do the same activities in your living room that you do when camping, people will begin to question you. Sitting on a folding chair all day eating... Why is that ok when you're in the woods?

At any rate. Rach got all of the good camping pictures, so you'll have to look for them on her blog. Till then, here's a blustery day at the park and an afternoon in the back yard.

Labor Day 2008

Today is labor day, September 1, 2008. In 27 days it will be our anniversary! At work I keep track of my time in the "red book." It is a little red diary that sits on my desk and I use it to keep track of my daily tasks for billing purposes and to fill my time sheet. Each year when I get a new red book, I go to September 1st, and write the countdown. I also add another 30 day countdown that begins November 11th for Rach's birthday. So on the 28th we'll be married... I always get this wrong, not because I forget, but my basic math skills are pretty sad. Sept. 2008 minus Sept. 2002= 6 years. not 7 or 5, but 6. These 6 years have been amazing. I know that I have changed from the person that I was 6 years ago, but I think that alot of that is due to Rachel. My priorities have shifted quite a bit, but I am glad that I have been pulled in the direction that I am today. Time with my family and my friends are now the strong desire that I feel, where it was centered before on more selfish activities. I still enjoy surfing and playing music, but am content to stay home saturday morning and watch Dora with Max, or come to church with my family and sit together and worship. I am less inclined to go to Centerville on a saturday morning without a friend these days because, when I do, I find myself missing the fellowship. Who do you brag to when you get a good wave?

So it is Monday, Labor Day, and what am I doing? I am at work, while my family is at home. I need to run oil content samples for Mercer Fraser so they can continue paving on Tuesday. I don't really care if they continue paving, so why am I here/ Very, very long story.... I'm waiting for a can of PG 64-16 grade liquid asphalt to get to 300 deg f., then I can kick some butt. Asphalt testing is not my responsibility at SHN. My job is to manage people who test asphalt. I must say though, I'm getting pretty stinking good at running mix designs. While the oil heats up, I'm doing data entry.

9:45; 200 deg f.

10:20; 250 deg f.

About a year ago, I decided that I wanted to grab another rung on the SHN ladder, and join the world of middle managment. This summer I have spent alot of time questioning that decision. This year has been the perfect storm of variables that have made me a stranger in my own home. We have more work than we have ever taken on in history. I have 9 technicians that I am using every day, and the last three months have shown the highest billings that the lab has ever accrued. Although I have a pretty amazing crew of guys, you are only as strong as your weakest link, and I have a few missing links.

10:30; 255 deg f.

In all honesty, I guess that I care about my job. I can say that I don't, but the product that I put forth is a reflection of me. Just like Max is a reflection of my skills as a parent, yikes!! The problem that I am having is that I have people who don't care and are just here to collect a check. Do I fault them for this?

10:40; 255 deg f. close enough.

11:30; Now we're rocking, once things get hot it goes pretty easy. Doing my 16 minute calibration counts, forgot that I need to do my timesheet. Lets see if I can get out before 5:00.